Darkness at noon

I was in Taipei when the Sichuan earthquake struck, and I had no inkling of the severity of it until I flew back to Singapore. I had not seen any TV footage of the destruction, and even though there are so many video clips on youtube now, I am still at a loss as to how and where to start.

From what I could tell, those who saw the TV footage were very affected by it because many children died and there were many clips showing their bodies and grieving parents and grandparents, even nurses. And I read many accounts, which illuminated humankind at its best - heroes, charity concerts, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, soldiers, men in the street, rescuers going without sleep - and at its worst - looting.

I told my colleagues that I wanted to look at the TV news footage, and they asked me why I wanted to see things that would make me sad. I couldn't respond at that time. Now, after some thought, I think I want to see those video footage because I want to share in this collective grief, which makes me human.

Now every day, I'm reading online reports of the latest developments in the earthquake zone. As some have rightly said, charity doesn't just end at charity concerts and the here and now, but there is a need to ensure that the process of rebuilding, which could take years, is also well taken care of. As such, efforts by Chinese, HK and Taiwanese artistes have focused on not only just the immediate needs but the longer-term redevelopment of the devastated areas.

I remember someone saying that the saddest and hardest thing for parents to bear is that their child dies first. In the Sichuan earthquake, my sadness comes from thinking of the life a child could have lived if he hadn't died, and the many many things of this earth that he will never experience; however, this grief is cloaked in joy because I know that this earth will never match up to the wondrous place that is heaven.

My prayer is that God will send His love to those suffering through ways in which He knows will touch their hearts the most, and give them peace and closure.

Another fruit

Ever so often, one comes across a person, an event, a video that encapsulates God's love. I just watched a youtube video of a little Korean girl, Ye Eun, who was born blind and could play the piano by the age of 3 on her own. God must have deemed her really special to give her such a gift as perfect pitch and the ability to play the piano without any training at all.

I loved a Korean song about Jesus that she sang in the video. The lyrics go like this:

Thank you although I didn't quite understand
What an important being I am
From the beginning of the earth till now, Your (Jesus) love
Has been giving it to me
Thank you very much for teaching that love
That was approved from God
With Christ's love I'll serve you more
You are meant to be loved
and to pass that love
You have planted Christ's love
Wishing for another fruit
Wishing for another fruit

The video also featured Connie Talbot singing alongside Ee Yun. What's the measure of Connie? At the end of their performance, Connie kissed Ee Yun and also gave her encouraging rubs on her back. I was very impressed by Connie because such actions come from a kind and loving heart. A heart that reflects Christ.

When small things matter

On my flight back from a trip to Taipei, I was sitting next to this twenty-something girl who looked a tad pale and sick. I noticed tears flowing down her cheek at one stage. I tend to get very affected by such things. I tapped her shoulder and pushed a tissue paper into her hand and asked her if she needed a hot Milo drink. She said no and thanked me for the tissue paper. After that, she closed her eyes and was asleep for most of the journey.

When the plane landed at Changi Airport, she opened the overhead compartment and asked me in Mandarin if the bag of stuff was mine. I replied to say yes and told her not to worry about me and to take care of her own belongings. When the cabin door opened, she smiled at me and waved bye to me. I felt very happy just to be able to help a stranger in that small way.

God came near

This Sunday past, I attended the 4pm service after a badminton session. I had not known that it was to be a confirmation service and that an assistant bishop would be giving the sermon as well as officiating at the service. I was edified by his sermon which focused on three Ss - Scripture, Sacrament and the Holy Spirit.

We had Holy Communion after the sermon. I went up to receive the bread and the wine. I had asked God to forgive me for my sins, such as slipping behind in my quiet time, not settling yet into a cellgroup and other unmentionables etc, before I took communion.

I was served the bread by the assistant bishop, who placed a piece of bread in my hands and started to speak to me beyond his usual blessing. I was terrified that he would censure me on behalf of God because I hadn't been very disciplined in my quiet time lately, so I was trying to pull my hands away from him.As a result of that, I also couldn't hear everything that he said.

He touched my hands and then he said: "You're the light in your office, and you are the light to your colleagues. Be faithful even though you may face ridicule from people in your office....how blessed it is to be approved of God. You have God's approval."

I was too stunned to react, quite emotional and almost in tears because the words came to me at a most appropriate time. As well, I had feared the Lord would discipline me; instead, He bestowed on me His love.

I was so deeply humbled because of what the assistant bishop said to me. God's words through him really encouraged me a lot and strengthened my faith in Him even more. God came near to me, even though I had strayed far from him.

I'm reminded of the lyrics to a song, Grace Has Called My Name, by Kathryn Scott:

Grace has called my name
When all that I had left were just filthy stains
Grace has called my name
When hope had all but faded far away
Grace called my name

I just want to give God all the glory and thank Him that He called my name.

Sheer pleasure

The joy that a book gives is immeasurable. Today, I went to Kinokuniya Bookstore with $60 worth of vouchers in hand, and came out with six books.

I am so looking forward to reading them:
- The Final Martyrs (Shusaku Endo)
- How I Live Now (Meg Rosoff)
- A Wrinkle In Time (Madeleine L'Engle)
- Taking Pictures (Anne Enright)
- Death At Intervals (Jose Saramago)
- Wolf Totem (Jiang Rong)

A swift pure cry

I love to read children's books. They always fascinate me. One of my favourite sections in a bookstore is the children's section. I can buy a lot of the classics at half or less than half what the same title would cost in the adult section, and these are unabridged versions or even better, illustrated versions.

Some of my friends give me an incredulous look whenever I mention the fact that I read children's books. To them, children's books are for kids. Well, what many people don't realise is that some of the best written books one can find today are on the bookshelves in the children's section. Of course, that applies to graphic novels, too, but I'll save that for another posting.

I just read a children's book called A Swift Pure Cry by an Irish author, Siobhan Dowd, and felt compelled to just note down these gems.

A pier is a disappointed bridge, Mam used to say as they'd often walked down it, hand in hand. It's trying to get somewhere, but it's run out of faith.

The sea has made the sand a mirror
Which my two feet destroy,
And in that mirror two eyes I see,
A sadness and a joy.

The tender bouquet, the rock shelf, the frozen child: a heartbreak on the world.

Still

At times, I've nearly forgotten how edifying hearing a song of worship can be for my spirit. I wonder how many times I need to be reminded of God's all consuming love for me. It's always so easy for me to forget, but you know what? God remembers.

I just went through my most spiritually dry period in my Christian walk. It took this song to make me remember God, and that He is faithful even when we are faithless.


Still
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust