Are you guilty of irrational beliefs?

• I must be outstandingly competent, or I am worthless. 
• Others must treat me considerately, or they are absolutely rotten. 
• The world should always give me happiness, or I will die.
• I am special or I am damned. 
• I must be loved or cared for. 
• I must be immortal. 
• I am either good or bad. 
• I must prove myself. 
• I must have everything that I want.

Some Irrational Ideas That Cause and Sustain Neurosis (that is, a source of unhappiness)

(by clinical psychologist Albert Ellis)

1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do -- instead of their concentrating on their own self-respect, on winning approval for practical purposes, and on loving rather than on being loved.

2. The idea that certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned -- instead of the idea that certain acts are self-defeating or antisocial, and that people who perform such acts are behaving stupidly, ignorantly, or neurotically, and would be better helped to change. People's poor behaviors do not make them rotten individuals.

3. The idea that it is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be -- instead of the idea that it is too bad, that we would better try to change or control bad conditions so that they become more satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, we had better temporarily accept and gracefully lump their exis tence.

4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events -- instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.

5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it -- instead of the idea that one would better frankly face it and render it non-dangerous and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.

6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities -- instead of the idea that the so-called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.

7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourself on which to rely -- instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.

8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects -- instead of the idea that we would better do rather than always need to do well and accept ourself as a quite imperfect creature, who has general human limitations and specific fallibilities.

9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it -- instead of the idea that we can learn from our past experiences but not be overly-attached to or prejudiced by them.

10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control over things -- instead of the idea that the world is full of probability and chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.

11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction -- instead of the idea that we tend to  be happiest when we are vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.

12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things -- instead of the idea that we have real control over our destructive emotions if we choose to work at changing the musturbatory hypotheses which we often employ to create them.

Source: http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/ellis.html

Do you commonly fall into these thinking traps?

1. Jumping to Conclusions or Ready, Fire, Aim.  Jumping to Conclusions means there is some type of settling on a belief when there is little or no evidence to support it.  You’re probably thinking to yourself, how does this relate to my life as a professional in rehabilitation? 

Example: You send a long email to a colleague in which you describe some challenges you are facing and you ask for this person’s input.  Your colleague sends you a one-sentence reply.  You think to yourself, “This person really just doesn’t care about my situation. He/she only cares about himself or herself.” As you consider this type of example, it’s classic Jumping to Conclusions - that Ready, Fire, Aim. Instead of getting ready, aiming, focusing your beliefs, and then firing, you get that all confused and jump to conclusions. 

2. Tunnel Vision. It’s what we call Forest through the Trees. Tunnel Vision is thinking about less significant details in a situation while screening out the more important aspects. 

Example: You turn in case notes for your supervisor to review. You are quite pleased with your notes because they are detailed and thorough.  However, after turning the notes into your supervisor, you notice that you forgot to include notes on one session with the consumer. You think to yourself, “I blew it; my supervisor will think I did a shoddy job.” This is a classic example of Tunnel Vision - the Forest through the Trees. You are so focused on the one session that was not included in the overall case file, that you can’t see the great job that you did on the case overall. Be aware of the Forest through the Trees and Tunnel Vision.

3. Overgeneralizing, or Character Assassination.  Overgeneralizing is settling on global beliefs about one’s general lack of worth or ability, based on a single adversity.

Example: A consumer you are working with does not follow through on the plans you developed together. You think to yourself, “He or she is simply unmotivated and is clearly not invested in this process.”  This is a classic example of Overgeneralizing and Character Assassination. Is this an example in your process of only one incidence, or does this happen all the time? Is it something that is present always? Be aware of Character Assassination and Overgeneralizing.

4. Magnifying and Minimizing or the Wrong Side of the Binoculars. Magnifying and Minimizing are errors in evaluating events in which the negative aspects of the situation are magnified and the positive aspects of the situation are minimized. 

Example: You give a presentation in a meeting.  One person does not make eye contact with you throughout your presentation.  The others smile, nod, and ask important questions.  You think to yourself, “I must have really blown that.  John was so embarrassed for me he couldn’t even look me in the eye.”  This is an example of Magnifying and Minimizing. In this case, you have completed the presentation and done a really great job. But, you are so focused on the one person that wasn’t making eye contact with you that you can’t see the bigger picture. You are magnifying something that isn’t important and minimizing the overall presentation - Wrong Side of the Binoculars.

5. Personalizing or Me, Me, Me. It’s all about you. Personalizing is the tendency to automatically attribute the cause of an adversity to one’s personal characteristics or actions. 

Example: You have a new consumer that tells you he has been feeling really down and is having a hard time adjusting to all the changes in life.  You think to yourself, “This consumer would be doing so much better if I were more helpful.  I’m just not a good enough rehabilitation professional.”  This is a classic example of Personalizing. You look to yourself first instead of considering the overall situation, both the consumer and yourself, in the rehabilitation process. Watch out for Personalizing. 

6. Externalizing or Them, Them, Them. Externalizing is the tendency to automatically attribute the cause of an adversity to other people or to circumstances.

Example: You’re not closing as many cases as other counselors in your office and you think to yourself, “My caseload is tougher than everyone else’s and it’s just too hard to find employers who are willing to work with me.” This is Externalizing - looking outside of yourself for the cause of this adversity instead of considering the outside, external part, as well as your contribution to the caseload issue. Be aware of Externalizing and Them, Them, Them. It’s not only them, but is it also you?

7. Mind Reading or The Great Waldo. Mind Reading is assuming that you know what another person is thinking or expecting another person to know what you are thinking. 

Example: You see a friend or a colleague laughing with someone else in your office.  When you approach them it feels a little awkward. You think to yourself, “These people are just not glad to see me and they really wish I hadn’t come over.”  This is a classic example of Mind Reading. You don’t know what they are thinking and they don’t know what you are thinking. Don’t be the Great Waldo and be aware of Mind Reading.  Ask questions. Make sure to clarify the situation. Don’t leave it up to Mind Reading.

Be aware of your Thinking Traps.  Are you Jumping to Conclusions - Ready, Fire, Aim? Do you have Tunnel Vision - the Forest through the Trees?  Be aware of Overgeneralizing with Character Assassination.  Are you Magnifying and Minimizing - looking through the wrong side of the binoculars? Also, consider Personalizing.  Are you focusing on yourself? Or, are you focusing on others or Externalizing? Finally, be aware of Mind Reading.  We are not always aware of what is going on with someone else’s mind and people can’t read our thoughts. So we have to communicate effectively.

Thinking Traps are very common mistakes in our beliefs.  We have to be aware that Thinking Traps impact our overall ticker-tape beliefs and our outcomes - both behaviors and emotions. 

Source: http://edtech.tennessee.edu/resilience/wk3thinkingtrapsts.html

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire

I slipped in my quiet time over the past few weeks because I was reading books - first, Gideon's Spies; next, A Biography of Cancer; and last, Hard Truths. After finishing the three books, God brought me to Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Pastor Jim Cymbala as a gentle reminder that I've been neglecting my relationship with my Father. 


One of my friends recommended this book to me many years back and I'm reading it only now. She said that it was a life-transforming book for her in that it totally changed her perspective on prayer. She now serves in the intercession ministry. As I read the book, I also pray that the book will do the same for me and that my prayer life will never be the same again. Here are some excerpts and my thoughts on them:


"I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need him."


Lord, thank You that You know how weak I am and You love me regardless. Enable me to always have that humility and that honesty to come to you with all my weaknesses and not just my strengths; with all my failures and not just my accomplishments; and with all my tears and not just my joy; with all my pain and not just my pleasures; and with all of me and not just a mask, a facade or a front. For Lord, when I am weak, then I am strong in You. 


"If you and your wife will lead my people to pray and call upon my name, you will never lack for something fresh to preach. I will supply all the money that's needed, both for the church and for your family, and you will never have a building large enough to contain the crowds that I will send in response."


Lord, thank you for reminding me that if we pray and call upon Your name, we will never be in lack. Lord, cement always in me this truth that Lord, You have blessed us to be a blessing to others. Enable me, Lord, to use the gifts that You have blessed me with to bless others and to minister to others, so that Lord, they know You love them. Give me, Lord, an undivided heart so that I may serve you. Give me, Lord, a heart big enough to serve others in humility and in grace and in love. Humble me always, Lord, so that You are glorified.


"A minister said.......You can tell how popular a church is by who comes on Sunday morning. You can tell how popular a pastor or evangelist is by who comes on Sunday night. But you can tell how popular Jesus is by who comes to the prayer meeting."


Lord, it is all about You and no one or nothing else. That is the Gospel. Amen.

The Reading Room

* The Siege of the Freedom Riders

=== There was little we could do but wait and pray. We sat in the church and sang freedom songs and hymns that strengthened our spirits and soothed our fears. Occasionally, I took a deep breath to get a little relief from the pain of my fractured ribs. At times I wondered whether it would be better to be safe in jail or to be there, in the church, surrounded by a vicious mob.

* Hit-and-run victim paralysed from chest down 'walks' again

== The treatment, called epidural stimulation, has taken 30 years to develop and is a way of bypassing the brain by teaching the spinal cord to control limbs independently.

* Indonesia's Islamic Vigilantes

=== The attack, which shocked Indonesians by occurring in a place of worship, points to what some analysts say is a disturbing trend. Across the country, they say, the authorities have largely stood by as fundamentalist vigilante groups have increasingly used street-level violence and intimidation in an attempt to turn Indonesia — a nonsectarian democracy where moderate Islam predominates — into a conservative Islamic state. Now, emboldened by a lack of official action, it appears some Islamist vigilantes are turning to terrorism.

* The Best Street Photographer You've Never Heard Of

=== She had little patience for those who put on airs—and she did little to call attention to herself. Everyday dresses. Small-brimmed hats. In one self-portrait, she's looking away from the camera, awkward and uncomfortable. In another, much of her face is hidden by a shadow. She was a loner of sorts. She never married. Families she lived with have said they couldn't recall her ever receiving a personal phone call. All of which is somewhat astonishing, given the incredible intimacy of her photographs.

* The most influential man in history

=== He was the most influential person who ever lived. He shaped our world more than any political or religious leader, more than any explorer or engineer. The gifted playwright who moves audiences to laughter and tears has also moved history...He is, as Virginia Woolf put it, "the word-coining genius, as if thought plunged into a sea of words and came up dripping."

* Unspoken Truths

=== Until cancer attacked his vocal cords, the author didn’t fully appreciate what was meant by “a writer’s voice,” or the essential link between speech and prose. As a man who loved to talk, he turns to the masters of such conversation, both in history and in his own circle.

=== If something is worth hearing or listening to, it’s very probably worth reading. So, this above all: Find your ownvoice.

* Bobby Fischer: from prodigy to pariah

=== "The thing that strikes me about Fischer's chess," he says, "is that it's very clear. There are no mysterious rook moves or obscure manoeuvrings. He's very direct. There's a great deal of logic to the chess. It's not as though it's not incredibly difficult – it is incredibly difficult. It's just that when you look at it you can understand it –afterwards. He just makes chess look very easy, which it isn't."

Warren Buffett quotes

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.

Time is the friend of the wonderful company, the enemy of the mediocre.

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong.

Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.

John F. Kennedy quotes

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.

The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.

We need men who can dream of things that never were.

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.

We set sail on this new sea because there is knowledge to be gained.

The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us.

There will always be dissident voices heard in the land expresing opposition without alternatives, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side, and seeking influence without responsibility.

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.

Conformity is the jailer of freedom, and the enemy of growth.

For without belittling the courage with which men have died, we should not forget those acts of courage with which men have lived.

The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.

But peace does not rest in the charters and covenants alone. It lies in the hearts and minds of all people. So let us not rest all our hopes on parchment and on paper, let us strive to build peace, a desire for peace, a willingness to work for peace in the hearts and minds of all of our people. I believe that we can. I believe the problems of human destiny are not beyond the reach of human beings.

The Wonderful Effect of Divine Love

Love is an excellent thing, a very great blessing, indeed. It makes every difficulty easy, and bears all wrongs with equanimity. For it bears a burden without being weighted and renders sweet all that is bitter. The noble love of Jesus spurs to great deeds and excites longing for that which is more perfect. Love tends upward; it will not be held down by anything low. Love wishes to be free and estranged from all worldly affections, lest its inward sight be obstructed, lest it be entangled in any temporal interest and overcome by adversity.

Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger or higher or wider; nothing is more pleasant, nothing fuller, and nothing better in heaven or on earth, for love is born of God and cannot rest except in God, Who is above all created things.

One who is in love flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free, not bound. He gives all for all and

possesses all in all, because he rests in the one sovereign Good, Who is above all things, and from Whom every good flows and proceeds. He does not look to the gift but turns himself above all gifts to the Giver.

Love often knows no limits but overflows all bounds. Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of troubles, attempts more than it is able, and does not plead impossibility, because it believes that it may and can do all things. For this reason, it is able to do all, performing and effecting much where he who does not love fails and falls.

Love is watchful. Sleeping, it does not slumber. Wearied, it is not tired. Pressed, it is not straitened. Alarmed, it is not confused, but like a living flame, a burning torch, it forces its way upward and passes unharmed through every obstacle.

IMITATION OF CHRIST

By Thomas a Kempis