Coming to a place of surrender

My church had a very different and refreshing Good Friday programme. Our auditorium was transformed into different stations grouped under "Into the Inner Court - Encounters with the Father". We could go into any station and in any order.

The stations were:
- Washing of feet
- Holy Communion
- At the Cross with Jesus
- Soaking in God's presence
- Praying for the nations
- Anointing and Prophecy

I was supposed to meet a church auntie and her husband at 11pm. Instead, I turned up at 11.30pm. Thankfully they were still there. There was a booklet that was given to each person to guide them through the various encounters.

I wished I could say that I dutifully and prayerfully spent precious time at each station but I think I was rushing myself through a bit because I had arranged to have lunch with them. In the end, I missed out on the "praying for nations" station and spent only a few minutes soaking in God's presence. Still, God was amazingly gracious in His revelation to me.

At the station "At the Cross with Jesus", we were to take a scripture scroll from the basket placed at the Cross and spend time in prayer and reflection. I took one and it was a short but meaningful verse to me because it shows that God knows my innermost struggles. It was Isaiah 1:19 - "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land."

I also liked very much the "My prayer to Jesus" that was printed on the booklet given to us. The words are extremely powerful and I will use them in future to reach out to others and to minister to them in their time of need. I was saying those words aloud when I was seated at the foot of the Cross.

Lord Jesus Christ, I thank you that you are my Saviour and Master, the Son of God who loves me. I thank you for laying down your life for all mankind and for me at the cross of Calvary, 2000 years ago. Jesus, at the cross, a divinely ordained exchange took place for me. All the evil due, by justice, to come to me came on you, so that all the good due to you, earned by your sinless obedience to your Father, might be made available to me.

Jesus, You were punished that I might be forgiven,
You were wounded that I might be healed,
You were made sin with my sinfulness that I might be made righteous with your righteousness,
You died my death that I might share your life,
You were made a curse that I might receive your blessing,
You endured poverty that I might share in your abundance,
You bore my shame that I might share your glory and
You endured my rejection that I might enjoy your acceptance.

My old man - the rebel, the corrupt one, died in you, that my new man, the new nature in Christ, might live in me.

Jesus, I will never be able to find a reason to deserve this divinely ordained exchange. It is the outworking of Father God's sovereign and amazing grace for me. It is the expression of God's measureless love for me.

Jesus, I praise and thank you, that I have been delivered from this present evil age (Galations 1:3-4); from the law (Galations 2:19-20); from self (Galations 2:20); from the flesh (Galations 5:24); and from the world (Galatians 6:14).

I was also ministered to tremendously at the station - "Anointing & Prophecy". I went up to one of the designated people who were to pray for others. The lady who prayed for me was called Tiffany. She first anointed me with oil and then she started praying in tongues over me. She then told me what the Holy Spirit had impressed on her.

She said that she saw the picture of a beautiful lily flower, whose fragrance was spreading throughout other people's lives. "Li Li, you have a pure heart", she told me. She also said that I was called to comfort, encourage and bring people to God, and that my words delivered through my mouth would glorify God because they were given by the Holy Spirit. She said that she sensed purity in my life and that I have been a blessing to many.

She told me that God wanted me to know that He loves me tremendously and I am valued in His sight. And that I would be like the fragrance of a lily, bringing his love and compassion into areas of darkness, areas where there is no God, areas where people need to hear of him, in the marketplace, in my office, in my home and so on - permeating everywhere I went. She said that the people around me would be blessed because of me.

But she also added that she could see many bottles of fragrance that I am holding on to. She said that God is telling me not to be afraid, and to be courageous and strong in him; to break all these bottles of fragrance so that I will touch many more lives.

God knows I have so much more to offer to Him, and I have to be brave and step out for Him. To trust Him and to be obedient and surrender to Him. There is so much more potential in me which I have to be willing to bring forth for his Kingdom and for his glory.

At this stage, I was in tears because I have always known that the calling of God was very strong in my life. But it was a matter of whether I was willing and obedient to surrender totally and follow his lead. Up till now, I've not been able to.

So it was most humbling and comforting for me to realise that God knows what I'm struggling with and He has given His assurance that He holds my future securely in His hands and I just need to let go and let God.

I don't know where God wants me to go from here, but I think He's preparing me for another stage in my Christian life with Him. I have to repent and ask God for His forgiveness because He has truly blessed me with many gifts and I feel that I've shown very little returns so far for His Kingdom.

As well, discipline has been lacking in terms of my spiritual growth in Him. I think the year ahead will be an important one for me as I draw near to Him in prayer and commitment. Doing the small things well first, and obeying the Holy Spirit in every way.

I thank God for His unending love for me, which fills me with so much joy and happiness. This aspect is very clear and apparent in my life. I also thank Him that I know that He will bring me into His inner courts more and more through the rest of my life, as I surrender more and more of me to Him. I've always prayed for only these few things:
- The passion for Christ and His Word
- The love and compassion for people, especially the lost
- The humility of Christ
- The wisdom of God
- The increasing revelation in me of Him and His Word
- The supernatural in me, demonstrated supernaturally through my influence in others - in every way possible - through speech, through actions, through healings, through miracles, through words of knowledge, through prophecy, through teachings and so on
- The joy, peace and love of Him in me that I may offer them abundantly to others

Amen.

Fighting the good fight

It was with much relief and hope that I read of JBJ's son, Kenneth, entering politics.

His father was a patriot true and true, and absolutely devoted to serving the country, not the party.

I'm glad that his elder son decided to enter politics, and excited at what he has to offer, given that one of his quotes was, "Like the Prime Minister, I also have a double first from Cambridge."

I came across this old article on JBJ on Malaysian Insider, which is worth a read.

http://www2.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/jeremiahmahadevan/10179-jbjs-was-the-good-fight

Letting go

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
- Corrie Ten Boom

Reaching out and healing within

I had the tremendous privilege of attending a counselling seminar conducted by Everett L. Worthington, Jr is a professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University. He has published twenty books on marriage and family topics.

Today, he spoke on strength-focused counselling. I was edified, encouraged and uplifted by his teaching and his humility and his obedience to God.

Among many treasures, Worthington spoke about REACH as a model of forgiveness.

Recall the hurt objectively

Empathize with those who have hurt us.

Altruistically give the gift of forgiveness.

Commit to the forgiveness we have experienced.

Hold on to forgiveness whenever we doubt that we have forgiven.

Among many treasures, he drew attention to this beautiful prayer that was found in the Ravensbruck Concentration Camp, 1945.

“O Lord

Remember not only the men and women

Of good will, But all of those of ill will.

But do not remember all the suffering

They have inflicted upon us;

Remember the fruits we have brought

Thanks to this suffering-

Our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility,

Our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart

Which has grown out of all this;

And when they come to judgment,

Let all the fruits we have borne

Be their forgiveness.”

Catching the visions

Last Friday, I attended the third of my church's eight-week programme on Supernatural Living.

During that session, each of us was asked to form a team of four with three other strangers. We were to write down our team members' names and then to pray and worship for a few minutes. We were to write down any vision, word or impression on to a piece of paper. During that time, I saw four visions - dry bones in the desert being revived by rain; a green bush; a ship on the seas deciding whether to turn left or right; and a white feather.

When the time came for my team members and I to exchange the impressions we had, I shared with them mine and one of them said the dry bones may be for her because she had been taking care of her elderly mum and recently had been feeling exhausted and tired. The other two felt that the ship was for them because one of them was thinking of a job change while the other was also considering a major decision.

I was deeply humbled because two of them had visions specifically for me. One of them said that she saw Christ handing over a very red heart to me, which could signify a new heart for me. Another said that she had the word "joy" for me and that she felt that God was saying that I would bring a lot of joy to the people around me.

For the red heart, I had always prayed to God that He would pour on to me His compassion for the lost and His passion and love for people. Also, in recent times, I had felt that I had lost that initial first love I had for Christ when I first became a Christian, and I sensed in this vision that God was telling me, "Here, I'm giving you a new heart of passion and love to you for you to serve my people". I really thank God that He knows me inside out and that even before I had done anything for me, He has done everything for me and I have His approval because of Christ's sacrifice at the Cross. God is well pleased with me because of Christ. Amen.

As for the word "joy", I've always felt that God has given me a deep level of faith, which has given me the boldness and confidence to always be optimistic in life. This faith and confidence has also given me a sensitivity towards people, and the wonderful ability to encourage, comfort and edify people.

I am deeply convicted that one of my main services for God is in encouraging and empowering people. Letting anyone believe that they can go much further than they ever know and that they are much better than the world deems them to be, and that they possess strengths, gifts and abilities given by God which they can use well.

I know this is one of my main missions on this earth. One of my closest friends said that she thinks the "joy" refers to the fact that people can see a deep sense of purpose and calling in me, that I am certain of my goal and purpose and direction in life and this comes through in my words and actions.

For me, all it boils down to is this: There but for the grace of God go I.

Leading the way

My auntie gave me a "365 Days of Purpose for Women" calendar for Christmas this year. I've been reading the quotations for each day. I find them meaningful and inspiring. This short quote by Becca Stevens really encapsulates what empowerment and leadership is about:

"A candle is never diminished by lighting another candle."

Persona non grata

Today was one of my saddest days as a Christian.

At the end of the usual Sunday service, my senior pastor stood at the podium to share with us why he's bringing the church into an eight-week course on the supernatural. He said that to him, he would have failed his duty as a pastor if he didn't bring each member of his congregation into his or her full potential in Christ.

During his speech, he related how a young lady told him that God had laid on her a burden to reach out to the prostitutes in Geylang. She had obeyed Him and six prostitutes had given their lives to Jesus. But when the young lady approached some churches in Geylang to ask if they would accept the prostitutes into their congregation, all said no.

At this point when my senior pastor was talking about these churches' refusal, he was very worked up and close to tears. I was there in front along with quite a few other church members (we had gone up to pray for the church leadership in support of them).

When I listened to this account, I also couldn't control my tears. Churches, yes, churches actually turned people who had resolved to die to their own selves and to follow Christ.

I couldn't help thinking that much more than us, Jesus must have been so much more griefed by the actions of those churches.

How can Jesus' followers refuse to accept a sinful person who wants to follow Christ?

Jesus' encounter with a sinful lady:

Luke 7:36-50
36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."