Sunday, April 12, 2009

Coming to a place of surrender

My church had a very different and refreshing Good Friday programme. Our auditorium was transformed into different stations grouped under "Into the Inner Court - Encounters with the Father". We could go into any station and in any order.

The stations were:
- Washing of feet
- Holy Communion
- At the Cross with Jesus
- Soaking in God's presence
- Praying for the nations
- Anointing and Prophecy

I was supposed to meet a church auntie and her husband at 11pm. Instead, I turned up at 11.30pm. Thankfully they were still there. There was a booklet that was given to each person to guide them through the various encounters.

I wished I could say that I dutifully and prayerfully spent precious time at each station but I think I was rushing myself through a bit because I had arranged to have lunch with them. In the end, I missed out on the "praying for nations" station and spent only a few minutes soaking in God's presence. Still, God was amazingly gracious in His revelation to me.

At the station "At the Cross with Jesus", we were to take a scripture scroll from the basket placed at the Cross and spend time in prayer and reflection. I took one and it was a short but meaningful verse to me because it shows that God knows my innermost struggles. It was Isaiah 1:19 - "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land."

I also liked very much the "My prayer to Jesus" that was printed on the booklet given to us. The words are extremely powerful and I will use them in future to reach out to others and to minister to them in their time of need. I was saying those words aloud when I was seated at the foot of the Cross.

Lord Jesus Christ, I thank you that you are my Saviour and Master, the Son of God who loves me. I thank you for laying down your life for all mankind and for me at the cross of Calvary, 2000 years ago. Jesus, at the cross, a divinely ordained exchange took place for me. All the evil due, by justice, to come to me came on you, so that all the good due to you, earned by your sinless obedience to your Father, might be made available to me.

Jesus, You were punished that I might be forgiven,
You were wounded that I might be healed,
You were made sin with my sinfulness that I might be made righteous with your righteousness,
You died my death that I might share your life,
You were made a curse that I might receive your blessing,
You endured poverty that I might share in your abundance,
You bore my shame that I might share your glory and
You endured my rejection that I might enjoy your acceptance.

My old man - the rebel, the corrupt one, died in you, that my new man, the new nature in Christ, might live in me.

Jesus, I will never be able to find a reason to deserve this divinely ordained exchange. It is the outworking of Father God's sovereign and amazing grace for me. It is the expression of God's measureless love for me.

Jesus, I praise and thank you, that I have been delivered from this present evil age (Galations 1:3-4); from the law (Galations 2:19-20); from self (Galations 2:20); from the flesh (Galations 5:24); and from the world (Galatians 6:14).

I was also ministered to tremendously at the station - "Anointing & Prophecy". I went up to one of the designated people who were to pray for others. The lady who prayed for me was called Tiffany. She first anointed me with oil and then she started praying in tongues over me. She then told me what the Holy Spirit had impressed on her.

She said that she saw the picture of a beautiful lily flower, whose fragrance was spreading throughout other people's lives. "Li Li, you have a pure heart", she told me. She also said that I was called to comfort, encourage and bring people to God, and that my words delivered through my mouth would glorify God because they were given by the Holy Spirit. She said that she sensed purity in my life and that I have been a blessing to many.

She told me that God wanted me to know that He loves me tremendously and I am valued in His sight. And that I would be like the fragrance of a lily, bringing his love and compassion into areas of darkness, areas where there is no God, areas where people need to hear of him, in the marketplace, in my office, in my home and so on - permeating everywhere I went. She said that the people around me would be blessed because of me.

But she also added that she could see many bottles of fragrance that I am holding on to. She said that God is telling me not to be afraid, and to be courageous and strong in him; to break all these bottles of fragrance so that I will touch many more lives.

God knows I have so much more to offer to Him, and I have to be brave and step out for Him. To trust Him and to be obedient and surrender to Him. There is so much more potential in me which I have to be willing to bring forth for his Kingdom and for his glory.

At this stage, I was in tears because I have always known that the calling of God was very strong in my life. But it was a matter of whether I was willing and obedient to surrender totally and follow his lead. Up till now, I've not been able to.

So it was most humbling and comforting for me to realise that God knows what I'm struggling with and He has given His assurance that He holds my future securely in His hands and I just need to let go and let God.

I don't know where God wants me to go from here, but I think He's preparing me for another stage in my Christian life with Him. I have to repent and ask God for His forgiveness because He has truly blessed me with many gifts and I feel that I've shown very little returns so far for His Kingdom.

As well, discipline has been lacking in terms of my spiritual growth in Him. I think the year ahead will be an important one for me as I draw near to Him in prayer and commitment. Doing the small things well first, and obeying the Holy Spirit in every way.

I thank God for His unending love for me, which fills me with so much joy and happiness. This aspect is very clear and apparent in my life. I also thank Him that I know that He will bring me into His inner courts more and more through the rest of my life, as I surrender more and more of me to Him. I've always prayed for only these few things:
- The passion for Christ and His Word
- The love and compassion for people, especially the lost
- The humility of Christ
- The wisdom of God
- The increasing revelation in me of Him and His Word
- The supernatural in me, demonstrated supernaturally through my influence in others - in every way possible - through speech, through actions, through healings, through miracles, through words of knowledge, through prophecy, through teachings and so on
- The joy, peace and love of Him in me that I may offer them abundantly to others

Amen.


Friday, April 10, 2009

Fighting the good fight

It was with much relief and hope that I read of JBJ's son, Kenneth, entering politics.

His father was a patriot true and true, and absolutely devoted to serving the country, not the party.

I'm glad that his elder son decided to enter politics, and excited at what he has to offer, given that one of his quotes was, "Like the Prime Minister, I also have a double first from Cambridge."

I came across this old article on JBJ on Malaysian Insider, which is worth a read.

http://www2.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/jeremiahmahadevan/10179-jbjs-was-the-good-fight