Reflections on 2014

January
Assignment: Keep a new acquaintance talking about himself or herself without allowing him to become conscious of it. 

Completed: Talked to a cab driver tonight. Found out about his family, his values, his perspective on marriage, the cost of living in Singapore, what he used to work as before he became a cab driver, how much load a cement mixer truck carries (6 m3), how the construction industry was dying a slow death (and consequently cement mixer truck drivers) before the casinos, the two most common ailments of cab drivers (high blood pressure and kidney-related disease), how his wife was more scared of his gambling habit than his having affairs, the stress of providing for a family of four, how he got sweet-talked into buying $40-worth of Taiwanese pudding desserts during CNY at Chinatown last year and why he is avoiding the area this year, how old his two daughters are, and so on and so forth. It was nice for me to learn so many things from this elderly cab driver, who told me to remember his licence plate number and his cab company.

February
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
- Mark Twain

March
Rejoice in hope,
be patient in tribulation,
be constant in prayer.
(Romans 12:12)

April
Hope, faith and love
“Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope.

Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.”
― Reinhold Niebuhr, The Irony of American History

May
Moving onA sad day.

June
Muddy waters, if left alone and given time, will turn clear.

Be a curator of life. Edit. Leave out the junky parts. Don’t be afraid to say no – but when you find something worth saying yes to – treasure it. Enjoy it. Hang it on the walls of your museum and be proud of it.
- Jeffrey Tang

July
Gave some time to this 15-year-old who was drinking a cup of tea and hanging around in the YWCA pantry while I and two other ministry mates were having our dinner before the children's workshop. One of them asked him to sit down and join us. He sat down next to me and placed his cup of tea and a Marvel comic book on the table. He was still in his school uniform. He was drinking his tea, while he was looking at me eat my yong tau foo. He told me that he had overheard me saying earlier that I had eaten cheese with a bread roll the night before. I explained to him that at my age, it's tough to maintain one's weight, much less lose weight, because our metabolic rate slows rapidly beyond a certain age. And how I was trying to avoid eating carbs at night. He then said that brown rice was nutritious but he didn't like eating it because it was super dry. I chatted with him about how I loved graphic novels, especially V for Vendetta and the Sandman Series. He quipped that it was so nice for him to be in a situation whereby it's like a grandmother telling him that she was reading comics (do I look like a grandmother?!). I corrected him and said "auntie, auntie; not grandmother!" I carried on talking with him. He told me why he was there and then he said that he would hang around before heading home. I wondered why he wasn't keen to go home but I didn't ask him about it. He shared about school, what he did that day, his family and so on. Soon, it was close to 7.30pm and we had to leave the pantry to go into a room for the workshop. I told him that we had to leave, and that was when he introduced himself and I told him my name. My parting shot to him was "don't hang around too late before going home, okay?" And I said bye to him.

My reflection: Very often, all that another person needs from us is just time and company.

August
Another birthday has passed, and I am reminded again of how blessed I am. Reflected on the many wishes, lunches, dinners and all the company, and came up with this image. My birthday wish was a long and fulfilling life for everyone who is connected to me in this life.

September
Stay and Wait - Hillsong
Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I'll never look back

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
 Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

October

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

November
"That breath that you just took...that's a gift."
- Rob Bell

December
“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”
― Tim McGraw

Ethical living – and leading – takes courage and conviction. It means doing the right thing, even when the right thing isn't popular or easy. But when you make decisions based on your core values, then you tell the world that you can't be bought. Actions always speak louder than words, so make sure you do as you would wish others to do.

Every new beginning is another ending

Bits & pieces:

+ “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”
― Tim McGraw

+ Drank my first glass of wine in the office since I was employed in the current company for a significant toast.

+ Ethical living – and leading – takes courage and conviction. It means doing the right thing, even when the right thing isn't popular or easy. But when you make decisions based on your core values, then you tell the world that you can't be bought. Actions always speak louder than words, so make sure you do as you would wish others to do.

Dollars and sense

Just thanking God for His provision and praying that I will use His money wisely.

He will quiet you by His love

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Lord, have mercy on me

David Pawson, Cornerstone Community Church (11 Oct 2014)
 
Sermon passage - Matthew 20
Labourers in the vineyard

Jesus's parable is about how the Kingdom of Heaven operates on earth.

Key question: Was the vineyard owner less than fair or more than fair?

A lot of people go through life complaining and grumbling about injustice. "Life is not fair!" For us, it is about what we deserve, what is due to us, what we should get and so on.

But God never promised us that life would be fair.

Back to the key question thrown up by the parable:

The vineyard owner was more than fair in this instance because the first group got what they deserved but the latter group got his mercy.

From this parable, we get the difference between earth and the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

Earth operates by merit
The Kingdom of Heaven is about mercy.

"If we got what we deserve, I would not be here preaching to you, and there would be no one listening too." - David Pawson

The world is all too keen to place justice and mercy as polar opposites but both of them operate together. They travel along the same road but mercy goes farther down the path to give us what we do not deserve.

At the end, God will give everyone what we deserve. His justice.

Who then will get God's mercy?

Mercy is extended as a choice of the giver. There are three keys to receiving God's mercy.

1. God extends mercy to those who ask for it. Some people don't ask because they don't feel bad enough. Luke 18:9-14
Ask and you shall receive

Pawson shared about a US army chaplain who ministered to the Nazi criminals at Nuremberg. He didn't provide this Daily Mail link but the account of how the chaplain ministered to the Nazis is worth a read.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2577470/The-chaplain-Missouri-tried-save-black-souls-Nazis-Nuremberg-Untold-story-pastor-told-Goering-Jesus-just-smart-Jew-moments-swallowed-cyanide-pill-escape-gallows.html

2. We receive God's mercy by passing it on. Like electricity, mercy needs a contact point to flow in and out.
Matthew 18:23-35
Pawson spoke of how an elderly lady came to him for healing. He asked her if there was anyone she needed to forgive, and she said she would never forgive her husband. So he told her that he will not pray for her healing. Pawson noted to us that forgiveness unblocks the healing power of God. In contrast, resentment and bitterness block the healing power of God and stop the mercy of God from flowing in.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall receive mercy.

3. God shows His mercy to those who do not take advantage of His mercy, that is, those who exploit His grace.
Pawson told this analogy:
A bystander saw this guy at the beach walk into the sea and then struggle in the water. So he took off his clothes and shoes and went to rescue the guy. When the guy made it to shore, he turned to the bystander and thanked him. After that, he walked back into the sea again. The bystander who had already worn his clothes took them off again and rescued the guy again. The guy thanked him and then walked back into the sea. Pawson asked the audience, "How many times should we rescue him? Seventy times seven?"
The man enjoys being saved but doesn't want to be saved.

If we truly repent, God gladly forgives.

Pawson asked: How many of us wake up every morning and ask for God's mercy instead of asking for His blessing, His healing, His favour and so on?

I Am the People, the Mob - Carl Sandburg (from Chicago Poems, 1916)

I am the people—the mob—the crowd—the mass.
Do you know that all the great work of the world is done through me?
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the world’s food and clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history. The Napoleons come from me and the Lincolns. They die. And then I send forth more Napoleons and Lincolns.
I am the seed ground. I am a prairie that will stand for much plowing. Terrible storms pass over me. I forget. The best of me is sucked out and wasted. I forget. Everything but Death comes to me and makes me work and give up what I have. And I forget.
Sometimes I growl, shake myself and spatter a few red drops for history to remember. Then—I forget.
When I, the People, learn to remember, when I, the People, use the lessons of yesterday and no longer forget who robbed me last year, who played me for a fool—then there will be no speaker in all the world say the name: “The People,” with any fleck of a sneer in his voice or any far-off smile of derision.
The mob—the crowd—the mass—will arrive then.

Stay and Wait - Hillsong

Stay and Wait - Hillsong United

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I'll never look back

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who lifts the poor and heals the blind
 Who trampled death for all mankind
Who stands for all with arms stretched wide
My King forever Jesus Christ

The King and the Ring

A king asked one of his most trusted advisers to search far and wide for a ring that would make a happy man sad when he looked at it and a sad man happy when he looked at it. The king was convinced that no such ring existed but still wanted his adviser to search for it. So his adviser set off and travelled far and wide but was not able to find such a ring. Discouraged, he rested in a small village. When he looked around him, he saw an old man who was selling trinkets and the like. He approached the old man and asked him if he had such a ring. The old man then rummaged through his bag and took out a simple gold ring that was engraved with four words. He offered it to the adviser, whose face immediately lit up. The adviser thanked the old man and bought the ring. He then made his way home. When he reached the palace, he proceeded to have an audience with the king. He told the king the good news and showed the king the ring. The king looked at it and scoffed and laughed. How could such a simple ring have so much power? But when he looked closely at the ring, he was chastened and turned reflective. For on the ring were these words: This, too, shall pass.

Thank you

Another birthday has passed, and I am reminded again of how blessed I am. Reflected on the many wishes, lunches, dinners and all the company, and came up with this image. My birthday wish was a long and fulfilling life for everyone who is connected to me in this life.

The eye is the lamp of the body

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full 

of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

- Matthew 6:19-24

The unanswered questions

Last week, I woke up late and decided to attend another church's service. A lady was sitting beside me and she started tearing when the worship began. After the sermon ended, I felt led to turn to her and ask her if she would want me to pray for her. She looked a bit shocked but told me of a personal tragedy that had occurred to her just a few weeks ago. So I prayed for her but it  was also quite emotional for me, and I had to stop once in a while to compose myself before continuing to pray for her. After I finished, she thanked me. I told her that it will take some time for her to grieve and for her to be patient with herself, and I also asked her to go up for prayer over the next few weeks. She then asked me if I attended the church and I said no, and that it was one of my rare visits to another church aside from my home church on Sundays. She thanked me again and said she hoped to bump into me some time in the future. When such a tragedy happens, it is difficult to make sense of it. We need to trust that God is in complete control. After leaving the service, I went for a long walk to regulate my emotions and also reflect on many of the unanswered questions in our lives that we will never get an answer to until we meet Jesus face to face. When I returned  home, I put on paper that Sunday experience. 

The gift of time

Gave some time to this 15-year-old who was drinking a cup of tea and hanging around in the YWCA pantry while I and two other ministry mates were having our dinner before the children's workshop. One of them asked him to sit down and join us. He sat down next to me and placed his cup of tea and a Marvel comic book on the table. He was still in his school uniform. He was drinking his tea, while he was looking at me eat my yong tau foo. He told me that he had overheard me saying earlier that I had eaten cheese with a bread roll the night before. I explained to him that at my age, it's tough to maintain one's weight, much less lose weight, because our metabolic rate slows rapidly beyond a certain age. And how I was trying to avoid eating carbs at night. He then said that brown rice was nutritious but he didn't like eating it because it was super dry. I chatted with him about how I loved graphic novels, especially V for Vendetta and the Sandman Series. He quipped that it was so nice for him to be in a situation whereby it's like a grandmother telling him that she was reading comics (do I look like a grandmother?!). I corrected him and said "auntie, auntie; not grandmother!" I carried on talking with him. He told me why he was there and then he said that he would hang around before heading home. I wondered why he wasn't keen to go home but I didn't ask him about it. He shared about school, what he did that day, his family and so on. Soon, it was close to 7.30pm and we had to leave the pantry to go into a room for the workshop. I told him that we had to leave, and that was when he introduced himself and I told him my name. My parting shot to him was "don't hang around too late before going home, okay?" And I said bye to him.

My reflection: Very often, all that another person needs from us is just time and company.

What I write about when I write about running

When one has spent one's secondary school, JC and university years playing competitive badminton, which entailed training sessions at night on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as well as physical training on Saturdays that included running 15/30 rounds around two basketball courts, one can be excused for never ever wanting to run short or long distances again because one feels that one has already run enough to last one's lifetime.

This morning, however, I chose to take part in the Touch Young Arrows' Run & Raisin charity event because of enthusiastic colleagues and friends. I woke up at 6am after catching the first half of the France-Germany game. The sky was dark and it was raining heavily. There was a flurry of messages as we considered whether we should go back to bed or get ready for the event. In the end, I took a cab at 6.30am and headed to the event venue. I remembered praying to God to please let the rain stop before 7.30am.

When I reached there, I got out of the cab and started walking around. I heard someone call my name. She was one of the usual suspects with a friend, who was nice enough to let me leave my bag in his car. We then walked around looking for the rest. We found some and took a group shot before heading to the starting point. A colleague who had organised two training runs before the actual event couldn't make it because he had fallen ill. He was missed.

By 7.30am, the rain had stopped. Amen. The 10km group was flagged off at 7.45am, and the 5km, at 8am. The Doutor brunch awaiting us after the finish line was a delicious incentive.

Doing the 5km, I was with three other colleagues whom I would not have had many opportunities to interact with at work. We were pretty chill. The route was scenic, starting from Gardens by the Bay and going past the two domes on the way to Marina Barrage with a view of Marina Bay Sands on the horizon, and then back the same way to the start/finish line.

Along the way, we chatted. I also took photos of the sights as well as of colleagues who were running past us. The other three would spot a colleague, which meant a short sprint for me as I had to get ahead of him or her to get a snap. They helped me along by shouting to the colleague, slow down, slow down, we want to get a photo of you. There were a few who ran so fast that we felt it was a lost cause for me to even attempt to sprint ahead of them. We let them go.

After crossing the finish line, all of us adjourned to Doutor at MBFC Tower 3 for yummy pancakes and sandwiches as well as some pretty solid coffee and tea. I thoroughly enjoyed myself just being there, talking only a bit but listening a lot more, giggling at some parts but laughing loudly at others, seated with a familiar bunch plus some new faces. We left Doutor only around 1pm. It was good fun.

Was it worth it for me to participate after such a long hiatus from running? But you see. I didn't run. I walked all the way.

Going with the flow

Muddy waters, if left alone and given time, will turn clear.

I know He will carry you

He Will Carry You - Lynda Randle

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it
And there is no storm too dark God cannot calm it
There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

And if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my brother that He will carry you
And if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my sister that He will carry you
He said, "Come unto Me all who are weary, and I will give you rest"

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it
And there is no storm too dark God cannot calm it
There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

And if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my brother that He will carry you
And if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my sister that He will carry you

I know my brother and I know my sister
That He, He's going to carry you
Oh yes, He will
He's going to carry you

May all who come behind us find us faithful

Find Us Faithful by Steve Green

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

Repeat chorus

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

The essence

Be a curator of life. Edit. Leave out the junky parts. Don’t be afraid to say no – but when you find something worth saying yes to – treasure it. Enjoy it. Hang it on the walls of your museum and be proud of it.
- Jeffrey Tang

How much land does a man need? (Leo Tolstoy)

I
An elder sister came to visit her younger sister in the country.
The elder was married to a tradesman in town, the younger to a
peasant in the village. As the sisters sat over their tea talking,
the elder began to boast of the advantages of town life: saying how
comfortably they lived there, how well they dressed, what fine
clothes her children wore, what good things they ate and drank, and
how she went to the theatre, promenades, and entertainments.

The younger sister was piqued, and in turn disparaged the life of a
tradesman, and stood up for that of a peasant.

"I would not change my way of life for yours," said she. "We may
live roughly, but at least we are free from anxiety. You live in
better style than we do, but though you often earn more than you
need, you are very likely to lose all you have. You know the proverb,
'Loss and gain are brothers twain.' It often happens that people who
are wealthy one day are begging their bread the next. Our way is
safer. Though a peasant's life is not a fat one, it is a long one.
We shall never grow rich, but we shall always have enough to eat."

The elder sister said sneeringly:

"Enough? Yes, if you like to share with the pigs and the calves!
What do you know of elegance or manners! However much your good man
may slave, you will die as you are living-on a dung heap-and your
children the same."

"Well, what of that?" replied the younger. "Of course our work is
rough and coarse. But, on the other hand, it is sure; and we need
not bow to any one. But you, in your towns, are surrounded by
temptations; today all may be right, but tomorrow the Evil One may
tempt your husband with cards, wine, or women, and all will go to
ruin. Don't such things happen often enough?"

Pahom, the master of the house, was lying on the top of the oven,
and he listened to the women's chatter.

"It is perfectly true," thought he. "Busy as we are from childhood
tilling Mother Earth, we peasants have no time to let any nonsense
settle in our heads. Our only trouble is that we haven't land
enough. If I had plenty of land, I shouldn't fear the Devil himself!"

The women finished their tea, chatted a while about dress, and then
cleared away the tea-things and lay down to sleep.

But the Devil had been sitting behind the oven, and had heard all
that was said. He was pleased that the peasant's wife had led her
husband into boasting, and that he had said that if he had plenty of
land he would not fear the Devil himself.

"All right," thought the Devil. "We will have a tussle. I'll give you
land enough; and by means of that land I will get you into my power."

II
Close to the village there lived a lady, a small landowner, who had
an estate of about three hundred acres. She had always lived on
good terms with the peasants, until she engaged as her steward an
old soldier, who took to burdening the people with fines. However
careful Pahom tried to be, it happened again and again that now a
horse of his got among the lady's oats, now a cow strayed into her
garden, now his calves found their way into her meadows-and he
always had to pay a fine.

Pahom paid, but grumbled, and, going home in a temper, was rough
with his family. All through that summer Pahom had much trouble
because of this steward; and he was even glad when winter came and
the cattle had to be stabled. Though he grudged the fodder when
they could no longer graze on the pasture-land, at least he was free
from anxiety about them.

In the winter the news got about that the lady was going to sell her
land, and that the keeper of the inn on the high road was bargaining
for it. When the peasants heard this they were very much alarmed.

"Well," thought they, "if the innkeeper gets the land he will worry us
with fines worse than the lady's steward. We all depend on that estate."

So the peasants went on behalf of their Commune, and asked the lady
not to sell the land to the innkeeper; offering her a better price
for it themselves. The lady agreed to let them have it. Then the
peasants tried to arrange for the Commune to buy the whole estate,
so that it might be held by all in common. They met twice to
discuss it, but could not settle the matter; the Evil One sowed
discord among them, and they could not agree. So they decided to
buy the land individually, each according to his means; and the lady
agreed to this plan as she had to the other.

Presently Pahom heard that a neighbor of his was buying fifty acres,
and that the lady had consented to accept one half in cash and to
wait a year for the other half. Pahom felt envious.

"Look at that," thought he, "the land is all being sold, and I shall
get none of it." So he spoke to his wife.

"Other people are buying," said he, "and we must also buy twenty
acres or so. Life is becoming impossible. That steward is simply
crushing us with his fines."

So they put their heads together and considered how they could
manage to buy it. They had one hundred roubles laid by. They sold
a colt, and one half of their bees; hired out one of their sons as a
laborer, and took his wages in advance; borrowed the rest from a
brother-in-law, and so scraped together half the purchase money.

Having done this, Pahom chose out a farm of forty acres, some of it
wooded, and went to the lady to bargain for it. They came to an
agreement, and he shook hands with her upon it, and paid her a
deposit in advance. Then they went to town and signed the deeds; he
paying half the price down, and undertaking to pay the remainder
within two years.

So now Pahom had land of his own. He borrowed seed, and sowed it on
the land he had bought. The harvest was a good one, and within a
year he had managed to pay off his debts both to the lady and to his
brother-in-law. So he became a landowner, ploughing and sowing his
own land, making hay on his own land, cutting his own trees, and
feeding his cattle on his own pasture. When he went out to plough
his fields, or to look at his growing corn, or at his grass meadows,
his heart would fill with joy. The grass that grew and the flowers
that bloomed there, seemed to him unlike any that grew elsewhere.
Formerly, when he had passed by that land, it had appeared the same
as any other land, but now it seemed quite different.

III
So Pahom was well contented, and everything would have been right if
the neighboring peasants would only not have trespassed on his corn-
fields and meadows. He appealed to them most civilly, but they
still went on: now the Communal herdsmen would let the village cows
stray into his meadows; then horses from the night pasture would get
among his corn. Pahom turned them out again and again, and forgave
their owners, and for a long time he forbore from prosecuting any
one. But at last he lost patience and complained to the District
Court. He knew it was the peasants' want of land, and no evil
intent on their part, that caused the trouble; but he thought:

"I cannot go on overlooking it, or they will destroy all I have.
They must be taught a lesson."

So he had them up, gave them one lesson, and then another, and two
or three of the peasants were fined. After a time Pahom's
neighbours began to bear him a grudge for this, and would now and
then let their cattle on his land on purpose. One peasant even got
into Pahom's wood at night and cut down five young lime trees for
their bark. Pahom passing through the wood one day noticed
something white. He came nearer, and saw the stripped trunks lying
on the ground, and close by stood the stumps, where the tree had
been. Pahom was furious.

"If he had only cut one here and there it would have been bad enough,"
thought Pahom, "but the rascal has actually cut down a whole clump.
If I could only find out who did this, I would pay him out."

He racked his brains as to who it could be. Finally he decided: "It
must be Simon-no one else could have done it." Se he went to
Simon's homestead to have a look around, but he found nothing, and
only had an angry scene. However' he now felt more certain than
ever that Simon had done it, and he lodged a complaint. Simon was
summoned. The case was tried, and re-tried, and at the end of it
all Simon was acquitted, there being no evidence against him. Pahom
felt still more aggrieved, and let his anger loose upon the Elder
and the Judges.

"You let thieves grease your palms," said he. "If you were honest
folk yourselves, you would not let a thief go free."

So Pahom quarrelled with the Judges and with his neighbors. Threats
to burn his building began to be uttered. So though Pahom had more
land, his place in the Commune was much worse than before.

About this time a rumor got about that many people were moving to
new parts.

"There's no need for me to leave my land," thought Pahom. "But some
of the others might leave our village, and then there would be more
room for us. I would take over their land myself, and make my
estate a bit bigger. I could then live more at ease. As it is, I
am still too cramped to be comfortable."

One day Pahom was sitting at home, when a peasant passing through
the village, happened to call in. He was allowed to stay the night,
and supper was given him. Pahom had a talk with this peasant and
asked him where he came from. The stranger answered that he came
from beyond the Volga, where he had been working. One word led to
another, and the man went on to say that many people were settling
in those parts. He told how some people from his village had
settled there. They had joined the Commune, and had had twenty-five
acres per man granted them. The land was so good, he said, that the
rye sown on it grew as high as a horse, and so thick that five cuts
of a sickle made a sheaf. One peasant, he said, had brought nothing
with him but his bare hands, and now he had six horses and two cows
of his own.

Pahom's heart kindled with desire. He thought:

"Why should I suffer in this narrow hole, if one can live so well
elsewhere? I will sell my land and my homestead here, and with the
money I will start afresh over there and get everything new. In
this crowded place one is always having trouble. But I must first
go and find out all about it myself."

Towards summer he got ready and started. He went down the Volga on
a steamer to Samara, then walked another three hundred miles on
foot, and at last reached the place. It was just as the stranger
had said. The peasants had plenty of land: every man had twenty-
five acres of Communal land given him for his use, and any one who
had money could buy, besides, at fifty-cents an acre as much good
freehold land as he wanted.

Having found out all he wished to know, Pahom returned home as
autumn came on, and began selling off his belongings. He sold his
land at a profit, sold his homestead and all his cattle, and
withdrew from membership of the Commune. He only waited till the
spring, and then started with his family for the new settlement.

IV
As soon as Pahom and his family arrived at their new abode, he
applied for admission into the Commune of a large village. He stood
treat to the Elders, and obtained the necessary documents. Five
shares of Communal land were given him for his own and his sons'
use: that is to say--125 acres (not altogether, but in different
fields) besides the use of the Communal pasture. Pahom put up the
buildings he needed, and bought cattle. Of the Communal land alone
he had three times as much as at his former home, and the land was
good corn-land. He was ten times better off than he had been. He
had plenty of arable land and pasturage, and could keep as many head
of cattle as he liked.

At first, in the bustle of building and settling down, Pahom was
pleased with it all, but when he got used to it he began to think
that even here he had not enough land. The first year, he sowed
wheat on his share of the Communal land, and had a good crop. He
wanted to go on sowing wheat, but had not enough Communal land for
the purpose, and what he had already used was not available; for in
those parts wheat is only sown on virgin soil or on fallow land. It
is sown for one or two years, and then the land lies fallow till it
is again overgrown with prairie grass. There were many who wanted
such land, and there was not enough for all; so that people
quarrelled about it. Those who were better off, wanted it for
growing wheat, and those who were poor, wanted it to let to dealers,
so that they might raise money to pay their taxes. Pahom wanted to
sow more wheat; so he rented land from a dealer for a year. He
sowed much wheat and had a fine crop, but the land was too far from
the village--the wheat had to be carted more than ten miles. After
a time Pahom noticed that some peasant-dealers were living on
separate farms, and were growing wealthy; and he thought:

"If I were to buy some freehold land, and have a homestead on it, it
would be a different thing, altogether. Then it would all be nice
and compact."

The question of buying freehold land recurred to him again and again.

He went on in the same way for three years; renting land and sowing
wheat. The seasons turned out well and the crops were good, so that
he began to lay money by. He might have gone on living contentedly,
but he grew tired of having to rent other people's land every year,
and having to scramble for it. Wherever there was good land to be
had, the peasants would rush for it and it was taken up at once, so
that unless you were sharp about it you got none. It happened in
the third year that he and a dealer together rented a piece of
pasture land from some peasants; and they had already ploughed it
up, when there was some dispute, and the peasants went to law about
it, and things fell out so that the labor was all lost.
"If it were my own land," thought Pahom, "I should be independent,
and there would not be all this unpleasantness."

So Pahom began looking out for land which he could buy; and he came
across a peasant who had bought thirteen hundred acres, but having
got into difficulties was willing to sell again cheap. Pahom
bargained and haggled with him, and at last they settled the price
at 1,500 roubles, part in cash and part to be paid later. They had
all but clinched the matter, when a passing dealer happened to stop
at Pahom's one day to get a feed for his horse. He drank tea with
Pahom, and they had a talk. The dealer said that he was just
returning from the land of the Bashkirs, far away, where he had
bought thirteen thousand acres of land all for 1,000 roubles. Pahom
questioned him further, and the tradesman said:

"All one need do is to make friends with the chiefs. I gave away
about one hundred roubles' worth of dressing-gowns and carpets,
besides a case of tea, and I gave wine to those who would drink it;
and I got the land for less than two cents an acre. And he showed
Pahom the title-deeds, saying:

"The land lies near a river, and the whole prairie is virgin soil."

Pahom plied him with questions, and the tradesman said:

"There is more land there than you could cover if you walked a year,
and it all belongs to the Bashkirs. They are as simple as sheep,
and land can be got almost for nothing."

"There now," thought Pahom, "with my one thousand roubles, why
should I get only thirteen hundred acres, and saddle myself with a
debt besides. If I take it out there, I can get more than ten times
as much for the money."

V
Pahom inquired how to get to the place, and as soon as the tradesman
had left him, he prepared to go there himself. He left his wife to
look after the homestead, and started on his journey taking his man
with him. They stopped at a town on their way, and bought a case of
tea, some wine, and other presents, as the tradesman had advised.
On and on they went until they had gone more than three hundred
miles, and on the seventh day they came to a place where the
Bashkirs had pitched their tents. It was all just as the tradesman
had said. The people lived on the steppes, by a river, in felt-
covered tents. They neither tilled the ground, nor ate bread.
Their cattle and horses grazed in herds on the steppe. The colts
were tethered behind the tents, and the mares were driven to them
twice a day. The mares were milked, and from the milk kumiss was
made. It was the women who prepared kumiss, and they also made
cheese. As far as the men were concerned, drinking kumiss and tea,
eating mutton, and playing on their pipes, was all they cared about.
They were all stout and merry, and all the summer long they never
thought of doing any work. They were quite ignorant, and knew no
Russian, but were good-natured enough.

As soon as they saw Pahom, they came out of their tents and gathered
round their visitor. An interpreter was found, and Pahom told them
he had come about some land. The Bashkirs seemed very glad; they
took Pahom and led him into one of the best tents, where they made
him sit on some down cushions placed on a carpet, while they sat
round him. They gave him tea and kumiss, and had a sheep killed,
and gave him mutton to eat. Pahom took presents out of his cart and
distributed them among the Bashkirs, and divided amongst them the
tea. The Bashkirs were delighted. They talked a great deal among
themselves, and then told the interpreter to translate.

"They wish to tell you," said the interpreter, "that they like you,
and that it is our custom to do all we can to please a guest and to
repay him for his gifts. You have given us presents, now tell us
which of the things we possess please you best, that we may present
them to you."

"What pleases me best here," answered Pahom, "is your land. Our
land is crowded, and the soil is exhausted; but you have plenty of
land and it is good land. I never saw the like of it."

The interpreter translated. The Bashkirs talked among themselves
for a while. Pahom could not understand what they were saying, but
saw that they were much amused, and that they shouted and laughed.
Then they were silent and looked at Pahom while the interpreter said:

"They wish me to tell you that in return for your presents they will
gladly give you as much land as you want. You have only to point it
out with your hand and it is yours."

The Bashkirs talked again for a while and began to dispute. Pahom
asked what they were disputing about, and the interpreter told him
that some of them thought they ought to ask their Chief about the
land and not act in his absence, while others thought there was no
need to wait for his return.

VI
While the Bashkirs were disputing, a man in a large fox-fur cap
appeared on the scene. They all became silent and rose to their
feet. The interpreter said, "This is our Chief himself."

Pahom immediately fetched the best dressing-gown and five pounds of
tea, and offered these to the Chief. The Chief accepted them, and
seated himself in the place of honour. The Bashkirs at once began
telling him something. The Chief listened for a while, then made a
sign with his head for them to be silent, and addressing himself to
Pahom, said in Russian:

"Well, let it be so. Choose whatever piece of land you like; we
have plenty of it."

"How can I take as much as I like?" thought Pahom. "I must get a
deed to make it secure, or else they may say, 'It is yours,' and
afterwards may take it away again."

"Thank you for your kind words," he said aloud. "You have much
land, and I only want a little. But I should like to be sure which
bit is mine. Could it not be measured and made over to me? Life and
death are in God's hands. You good people give it to me, but your
children might wish to take it away again."

"You are quite right," said the Chief. "We will make it over to you."

"I heard that a dealer had been here," continued Pahom, "and that
you gave him a little land, too, and signed title-deeds to that
effect. I should like to have it done in the same way."

The Chief understood.

"Yes," replied he, "that can be done quite easily. We have a scribe,
and we will go to town with you and have the deed properly sealed."

"And what will be the price?" asked Pahom.

"Our price is always the same: one thousand roubles a day."

Pahom did not understand.

"A day? What measure is that? How many acres would that be?"

"We do not know how to reckon it out," said the Chief. "We sell it
by the day. As much as you can go round on your feet in a day is
yours, and the price is one thousand roubles a day."

Pahom was surprised.

"But in a day you can get round a large tract of land," he said.

The Chief laughed.

"It will all be yours!" said he. "But there is one condition: If
you don't return on the same day to the spot whence you started,
your money is lost."

"But how am I to mark the way that I have gone?"

"Why, we shall go to any spot you like, and stay there. You must
start from that spot and make your round, taking a spade with you.
Wherever you think necessary, make a mark. At every turning, dig a
hole and pile up the turf; then afterwards we will go round with a
plough from hole to hole. You may make as large a circuit as you
please, but before the sun sets you must return to the place you
started from. All the land you cover will be yours."

Pahom was delighted. It-was decided to start early next morning.
They talked a while, and after drinking some more kumiss and eating
some more mutton, they had tea again, and then the night came on.
They gave Pahom a feather-bed to sleep on, and the Bashkirs
dispersed for the night, promising to assemble the next morning at
daybreak and ride out before sunrise to the appointed spot.

VII
Pahom lay on the feather-bed, but could not sleep. He kept thinking
about the land.

"What a large tract I will mark off!" thought he. "I can easily go
thirty-five miles in a day. The days are long now, and within a
circuit of thirty-five miles what a lot of land there will be! I
will sell the poorer land, or let it to peasants, but I'll pick out
the best and farm it. I will buy two ox-teams, and hire two more
laborers. About a hundred and fifty acres shall be plough-land, and
I will pasture cattle on the rest."

Pahom lay awake all night, and dozed off only just before dawn.
Hardly were his eyes closed when he had a dream. He thought he was
lying in that same tent, and heard somebody chuckling outside. He
wondered who it could be, and rose and went out, and he saw the
Bashkir Chief sitting in front of the tent holding his side and
rolling about with laughter. Going nearer to the Chief, Pahom
asked: "What are you laughing at?" But he saw that it was no longer
the Chief, but the dealer who had recently stopped at his house and
had told him about the land. Just as Pahom was going to ask, "Have
you been here long?" he saw that it was not the dealer, but the
peasant who had come up from the Volga, long ago, to Pahom's old
home. Then he saw that it was not the peasant either, but the Devil
himself with hoofs and horns, sitting there and chuckling, and
before him lay a man barefoot, prostrate on the ground, with only
trousers and a shirt on. And Pahom dreamt that he looked more
attentively to see what sort of a man it was lying there, and he saw
that the man was dead, and that it was himself! He awoke horror-struck.

"What things one does dream," thought he.

Looking round he saw through the open door that the dawn was breaking.

"It's time to wake them up," thought he. "We ought to be starting."
He got up, roused his man (who was sleeping in his cart), bade him

harness; and went to call the Bashkirs.

"It's time to go to the steppe to measure the land," he said.

The Bashkirs rose and assembled, and the Chief came, too. Then they
began drinking kumiss again, and offered Pahom some tea, but he
would not wait.

"If we are to go, let us go. It is high time," said he.

VIII
The Bashkirs got ready and they all started: some mounted on horses,
and some in carts. Pahom drove in his own small cart with his
servant, and took a spade with him. When they reached the steppe,
the morning red was beginning to kindle. They ascended a hillock
(called by the Bashkirs a shikhan) and dismounting from their carts
and their horses, gathered in one spot. The Chief came up to Pahom
and stretched out his arm towards the plain:

"See," said he, "all this, as far as your eye can reach, is ours.
You may have any part of it you like."

Pahom's eyes glistened: it was all virgin soil, as flat as the palm
of your hand, as black as the seed of a poppy, and in the hollows
different kinds of grasses grew breast high.

The Chief took off his fox-fur cap, placed it on the ground and said:
"This will be the mark. Start from here, and return here again.
All the land you go round shall be yours."

Pahom took out his money and put it on the cap. Then he took off
his outer coat, remaining in his sleeveless under coat. He
unfastened his girdle and tied it tight below his stomach, put a
little bag of bread into the breast of his coat, and tying a flask
of water to his girdle, he drew up the tops of his boots, took the
spade from his man, and stood ready to start. He considered for
some moments which way he had better go--it was tempting everywhere.

"No matter," he concluded, "I will go towards the rising sun."

He turned his face to the east, stretched himself, and waited for
the sun to appear above the rim.

"I must lose no time," he thought, "and it is easier walking while
it is still cool."

The sun's rays had hardly flashed above the horizon, before Pahom,
carrying the spade over his shoulder, went down into the steppe.

Pahom started walking neither slowly nor quickly. After having gone
a thousand yards he stopped, dug a hole and placed pieces of turf
one on another to make it more visible. Then he went on; and now
that he had walked off his stiffness he quickened his pace. After a
while he dug another hole.

Pahom looked back. The hillock could be distinctly seen in the
sunlight, with the people on it, and the glittering tires of the
cartwheels. At a rough guess Pahom concluded that he had walked
three miles. It was growing warmer; he took off his under-coat,
flung it across his shoulder, and went on again. It had grown quite
warm now; he looked at the sun, it was time to think of breakfast.

"The first shift is done, but there are four in a day, and it is too
soon yet to turn. But I will just take off my boots," said he to himself.

He sat down, took off his boots, stuck them into his girdle, and went on.
It was easy walking now.

"I will go on for another three miles," thought he, "and then turn
to the left. The spot is so fine, that it would be a pity to lose
it. The further one goes, the better the land seems."

He went straight on a for a while, and when he looked round, the
hillock was scarcely visible and the people on it looked like black
ants, and he could just see something glistening there in the sun.

"Ah," thought Pahom, "I have gone far enough in this direction, it
is time to turn. Besides I am in a regular sweat, and very thirsty."
He stopped, dug a large hole, and heaped up pieces of turf. Next he
untied his flask, had a drink, and then turned sharply to the left.
He went on and on; the grass was high, and it was very hot.

Pahom began to grow tired: he looked at the sun and saw that it was noon.

"Well," he thought, "I must have a rest."

He sat down, and ate some bread and drank some water; but he did not
lie down, thinking that if he did he might fall asleep. After
sitting a little while, he went on again. At first he walked
easily: the food had strengthened him; but it had become terribly
hot, and he felt sleepy; still he went on, thinking: "An hour to
suffer, a life-time to live."

He went a long way in this direction also, and was about to turn to
the left again, when he perceived a damp hollow: "It would be a pity
to leave that out," he thought. "Flax would do well there." So he
went on past the hollow, and dug a hole on the other side of it
before he turned the corner. Pahom looked towards the hillock. The
heat made the air hazy: it seemed to be quivering, and through the
haze the people on the hillock could scarcely be seen.

"Ah!" thought Pahom, "I have made the sides too long; I must make
this one shorter." And he went along the third side, stepping
faster. He looked at the sun: it was nearly half way to the
horizon, and he had not yet done two miles of the third side of the
square. He was still ten miles from the goal.

"No," he thought, "though it will make my land lopsided, I must
hurry back in a straight line now. I might go too far, and as it is
I have a great deal of land."

So Pahom hurriedly dug a hole, and turned straight towards the hillock.

IX
Pahom went straight towards the hillock, but he now walked with
difficulty. He was done up with the heat, his bare feet were cut
and bruised, and his legs began to fail. He longed to rest, but it
was impossible if he meant to get back before sunset. The sun waits
for no man, and it was sinking lower and lower.

"Oh dear," he thought, "if only I have not blundered trying for too
much! What if I am too late?"

He looked towards the hillock and at the sun. He was still far from
his goal, and the sun was already near the rim. Pahom walked on and
on; it was very hard walking, but he went quicker and quicker. He
pressed on, but was still far from the place. He began running,
threw away his coat, his boots, his flask, and his cap, and kept
only the spade which he used as a support.

"What shall I do," he thought again, "I have grasped too much, and
ruined the whole affair. I can't get there before the sun sets."

And this fear made him still more breathless. Pahom went on
running, his soaking shirt and trousers stuck to him, and his mouth
was parched. His breast was working like a blacksmith's bellows,
his heart was beating like a hammer, and his legs were giving way as
if they did not belong to him. Pahom was seized with terror lest he
should die of the strain.

Though afraid of death, he could not stop. "After having run all
that way they will call me a fool if I stop now," thought he. And
he ran on and on, and drew near and heard the Bashkirs yelling and
shouting to him, and their cries inflamed his heart still more. He
gathered his last strength and ran on.

The sun was close to the rim, and cloaked in mist looked large, and
red as blood. Now, yes now, it was about to set! The sun was quite
low, but he was also quite near his aim. Pahom could already see
the people on the hillock waving their arms to hurry him up. He
could see the fox-fur cap on the ground, and the money on it, and
the Chief sitting on the ground holding his sides. And Pahom
remembered his dream.

"There is plenty of land," thought he, "but will God let me live on
it? I have lost my life, I have lost my life! I shall never reach
that spot!"

Pahom looked at the sun, which had reached the earth: one side of it
had already disappeared. With all his remaining strength he rushed
on, bending his body forward so that his legs could hardly follow
fast enough to keep him from falling. Just as he reached the
hillock it suddenly grew dark. He looked up--the sun had already
set. He gave a cry: "All my labor has been in vain," thought he,
and was about to stop, but he heard the Bashkirs still shouting, and
remembered that though to him, from below, the sun seemed to have
set, they on the hillock could still see it. He took a long breath
and ran up the hillock. It was still light there. He reached the
top and saw the cap. Before it sat the Chief laughing and holding
his sides. Again Pahom remembered his dream, and he uttered a cry:
his legs gave way beneath him, he fell forward and reached the cap
with his hands.

"Ah, what a fine fellow!" exclaimed the Chief. "He has gained
much land!"

Pahom's servant came running up and tried to raise him, but he saw
that blood was flowing from his mouth. Pahom was dead!

The Bashkirs clicked their tongues to show their pity.

His servant picked up the spade and dug a grave long enough for
Pahom to lie in, and buried him in it. Six feet from his head to
his heels was all he needed.

Footnotes:
1.  One hundred kopeks make a rouble. The kopek is worth about
half a cent.
2.  A non-intoxicating drink usually made from rye-malt and rye-flour.
3.  The brick oven in a Russian peasant's hut is usually built so
as to leave a flat top, large enough to lie on, for those who want
to sleep in a warm place.
4.  120 "desyatins." The "desyatina" is properly 2.7 acres; but in
this story round numbers are used.
5.  Three roubles per "desyatina."
6.  Five "kopeks" for a "desyatina."