Recommended read

Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life (By Eugene O'Kelly)

Words from the sleeve jacket of the book:

On May, 2005, Eugene O'Kelly stepped into his doctor's office with a full calendar and a lifetime of plans on his mind. Six days later, he would resign as CEO of KPMG. He was diagnosed with late-stage brain cancer and given three to six months to live.

His life before:

* Led a US$4 billion, 20,000-employee, century-plus-old partnership.

* Idea of a perfect day - face-to-face client meetings, meetings with staff, discussions with other KPMG partners, putting out fires and completing items on his electronic calendar.

* Had a full calendar over the next 18 months.

* Worked all the time, even during weekends.

* Missed every single school function for his younger daughter, Gina, 13.

* Rarely went on vacation with his wife during the first 10 years of his marriage.

* Squeezed in work-day lunches - twice- with his wife during the past decade.

His life after:

* Went to church that Sunday and the sermon was on Jesus and the Tax Collector. The reverend read, "For it is easier for a camel to enter through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God."

* Stepped down as chairman and CEO of KPMG. Two days after, he had his first seizure, and started suffering major vision loss. His speech became garbled and he had problems getting dressed.

* Opted for radiotherapy, going for 20-minute sessions every day. This made him realise that proficiency/efficiency/competency was not what he could now measure people and things by. The machine would conk out. The staff were slow. The patients would moan. And that he (Type-A personality and micro-manager) needed to let go because he could no longer control everything.

* Was home every day with his wife, Corinne, and Gina. His older one is married with kids.

* Planned a final trip to Prague, Rome and Venice with his wife and Gina, with the departure set for Sept 16.

* Wrote down a list of the people whom he wanted to say goodbye to. It numbered 1,000. He couldn't "close" all the relationships. He closed half of that exclusively by mail. A number of them he did by phone. And he reserved his family and very close friends for the last few goodbyes. He wanted to ensure each closure would be a "Perfect Moment".

In a Perfect Moment, time came close to standing still. A Perfect Moment could be an intense five-minute phone conversation. It could be a leisurely, four-hour meal with good wine and great conversation. It could conceivably go on and on and on because it wasn't the bounded moment you created; it was the proper atmosphere in which it could blossom. The more I experienced Perfect Moments, the more I entertained the possibility of a Perfect Day, which was merely Perfect Moments strung together. In a perfect world, a Perfect Moment could last the duration of a waking day, maybe longer. Maybe the rest of one's life.

* Planned his funeral.

* Realised that unwinding relationships with close lifetime friends was easiest when his friends satisfied one or, more likely, both of these conditions: a belief in God, and a very solid marriage or partnership.

* Died on Sept 10.

I liked the book because he was very clear about how he felt about his death sentence, how he came to terms with it, and what he hoped to achieve in those 100 days. He said he was blessed because he was able to approach the end while still mentally lucid, and physically fit, with his loved ones near.

A lot of what he wrote got me thinking about my life, too. He said it took his impending death to make him realise that he had spent too much time with his "outer circles" - business contacts, colleagues and clients and friends, and too little time with his "inner circles" - his family and close friends.

As a result of reading this book, I've decided to change the way I spend my time - at work, and outside work. More time with my family and my closer friends, and less time with others. It's something that I am able to change now and therefore I should. I've also decided not to linger around in the office after work is done, but rather to pack up and leave and chill out instead at home and guard my free time more jealously. Of course, time with God is paramount. Plus, I will also actively create or look out for those Perfect Moments in my life from now on, and write them down in my prayer journal so that I will be reminded daily of God's providence because He alone decides our coming and our going. Amen to that!