What a year we left behind! I decided to reflect on the year past so that I could think about how God has blessed me and how I could ascribe glory to Him.
I must admit that I took a pretty long time because I had so many things to thank God for. The following people are the reason I told God that if I were to live my life again, I wouldn't want it any other way because then, I wouldn't have them in my life!
I thank God for my family and my relatives.
Sometimes, I find myself wishing that I could have been born into a Christian family and a richer family. But I would banish those thoughts as quickly as they came. I am extremely grateful and thankful that God has placed me where I am and chosen my family and my relatives for me because they have been a wonderful positive influence on my life.
- I thank God for my dad, who was there for me all the time when I was fully involved in badminton during secondary, JC and university. He was there supporting me throughout all my competitions, and would never fail to accompany me home during each of the late nights when my training sessions at the badminton hall in Geylang ended around 11pm or 11.30pm. We would walk through the red-light district on our way to take bus number 13. So yes, I was already aware of the red-light district when I was very young, although it was more of me wondering why there was always one red lantern hanging at each house.
He has never raised his voice at me in my entire life. The silent but ever supportive father. I think my appreciation of him grew more and more over the years as I saw how for some others, the presence of a dad was never certain.
I'm most likely going to treat my dad and my mum as well as my younger sister to a trip to Taiwan in the new year.
- I thank God for my mum, who is probably the single most important reason (apart from God, of course) why I have grown up believing that it is definitely more blessed and rewarding to give than to receive.
Her self-sacrifice for my family has been tremendous. In the past, when I came home after work around 1am or so, I would wake her up so that she could warm up some food for me. This was always what I've done. I didn't realise that this action meant that I was a spoilt brat. Ha ha! And that it was highly inconsiderate of me to do that. I have stopped doing that. Such an action was a blindspot for me because my mum has always bought lunch for us every day, washed and ironed our clothes, and has woken up at whichever time we came home to either cook noodles or warm up food for us.
She has given me and my siblings a lot of her love and generosity, and this has influenced me a lot in how I give to others.
My appreciation of my mum also grew over the years because I realised that not a lot of people have had very loving childhoods or mothers. I was extremely glad that I could bring her and my younger sister to attend my cousin's wedding in the US last year.
- I thank God for my siblings. We're not very close, but I think that even through their actions and my behaviour towards them, I've learnt a lot about grace, love, humility, patience and forgiveness. I want to thank God also for the gift of a much younger sister who has been a joy and blessing to me, especially, because in a lot of aspects I think I'm more child-like and childish than her and she has the good humour to put up with my nonsense. And of course, my wonderful nephew who is smart and intelligent. I plan to spend more time with him this year.
- I thank God for my uncles and my aunties and my cousins.
My auntie and my uncle brought us to Sunday school when we were kids. My auntie sang to us constantly of God's love and grace through songs and I grew up thinking that everyone knew how to sing folk songs (for example, Morning Has Broken) and Christian songs (This little light of mine, I wanna let it shine). I was shocked when I realised that this was not the case.
They would bring us to their home every weekend. After dinner, my uncle would bring us for a walk along Pandan Reservoir where we would be skimming stones across the water surface. Even now, I can visualise the four of us looking for flat stones which would be the best in achieving the highest numbers of skips across the water surface.
My uncle died in his prime. He drowned - suffered a migraine attack and blacked out when he was fishing late at night at Jurong Reservoir 21 years ago. My auntie was pregnant then with my cousin. His favourite pianist was Richard Clayderman and I still keep this precious music tape of a Clayderman recording he made for me before he died. Boy am I so looking forward to seeing him in heaven!
My other uncle also lent heavy financial support to my family during my growing-up years. He's extremely astute and would have been a millionaire by now but for the times when he's had to bail out different members of his extended family during different times. He told me that he bailed them out because "they were family".
I've my cousin to thank for leading me to a church (COOS), where I could say "Lord, I'm finally home" when I stepped into its main sanctuary for the first time. (I had been at another church for about a year but I knew that that was not where God wanted me to be in.)
She's happily married and settled in the US now, and has just given birth to a daughter. J, thank you for your photo frame of your beautiful daughter which I'm proudly displaying on the top shelf of my bookshelf in my room. All my love to you, EZ and MK.
Many of my relatives gave us a lot of love when we were young. By God's grace, many of them have been saved. My family hasn't yet, and this is something I will be working on this year. *smile*
I thank God for my wonderful friends.
- E, LL, M and X: The SexyCrazyCool gang, who have always made me feel at home and accommodated all of me. Many thanks for your friendship and love over the many years. And isn't this family of friends ever growing! All my love to you because you have always made me feel loved and accepted. All your family members (too many to name!) included in my love.
Yes, I know that every year since our 20s, the most fervent hope of you all for me in our resolution book has been for a guy to appear, love and marry me but well, he's not in sight and if he is, I'm too blur to notice or he hasn't made his move. Hope springs eternal and I'm waiting to see how all of us will turn out at age 50. Still, I want you all to know that I am content regardless of whether I am married, okay?
LL, I'm so happy that we'll all get to see you in person soon.
E, your big day this year?
M, I still cannot get to grips with the fact that you're already a mum!
X, you're doing absolutely wonderfully as a wife and a mum and I want you to know that. *smile*
- C, L, P and SL: The "tai-tai" gang, who have never ever criticised me for not bothering to dress up whenever we met for lunch, tea or dinner at fancy restaurants and who are ever patient with me and ever generous in dealing with my idiosyncracies. And also for being willing to hear me out when you all are discussing the latest TV series and movie gossip and I suddenly veer into human poverty and injustice and the needs of underprivileged children. I seem a misfit in the group but you all make me feel so much at home. Thank you.
L, I'm looking forward to the Spain trip! It's amazing when I think that we've known each other since our university times and that we also took a very memorable trip to Europe after graduation. And that we'll shortly be embarking on another trip together again. You have such a sweet nature. What is my most heartfelt wish for you? The courage to own your life and the wisdom to realise that happiness first springs from within oneself. *smile*
SL, you and LK are really blessed to be together and his comments about you always crack me up. Undeniably the most "guniang" one in this group (aka, creature of comfort, not to be caught dead in some place without modern sanitary facilities and air-con) but also the most astute. Case in point: I will forever remember the Koh Samui trip whereby you bargained with a lady store-owner regarding a set of cat bookends or a decorative cat sculpture, and in the end, dispatched me to buy them for you after your "let's walk away and she will drop the price" tactic failed. Ha ha ha! Okay, enough of the jokes. One thing I most admire about you is your firmness in standing by your principles, which is a rare trait. And I will always recall with fondness the times when we went for concerts together. *smile*
P, what a joy for me to know a person who lives life with a passion. One who manages her time well enough to pursue her non-work interests such as dancing. Someone who is comfortable in her own skin, and not afraid to express her opinions regardless of whether they are politically correct. Expressive, flamboyant and yet having a tender heart. I just want you to know that your mum is prouder of you than she will ever admit. *smile*
C, did you know that your Christmas gift (which you haven't delivered into my hands yet) will be one of the best gifts I received in 2006? Because you made them yourself, and that makes them extremely special to me. I really look back with joy at the times when we would go swimming at your club and the times when I was at your place and your monster S was always happy to see me. Since then, S has turned pretty snobbish and yes, he's well-built, not fat! *smile*
All my love to you all and this extends to LK and J, who are VIM (very important men) and I happen to think they're very nice! And yes, to C's three monsters, S, T and B too.
- WW: What can I say? One of my closest friends and one of the few I would be comfortable bawling my eyes out in front of and be totally transparent with. Thanks for accepting me into your confidence, and for casting a much-needed critical eye over my idealistic notions. And for pulling down me down to earth whenever my ego lifted me too high up in the sky. I always enjoy myself tremendously whenever we meet because I know I can say anything I want and if I get too ridiculous, you'll just roll your eyes and switch topics.
I always feel very comfortable talking to you. You're a dear friend who, I know, will stand by me. As well, thanks for all the occasions when you've invited me to your place and taken the trouble to cook for me as well. The shabu-shabu meal with you, CT and your brother constituted one of my life's perfect moments for 2006. All my love to you, CT and of course your lovely and highly affectionate M and S.
- R: A very dear friend, and an angel that God has placed in my life. Probably one of the few who have seen and borne some of the brunt of my sometimes Jekyl/Hyde personality, and who can empathise with my daily struggles at work and in life. You personify so much of Christ in your attitude towards me, even though I don't think I can say the same sometimes for my attitude towards you. Sorry for the angst and tension that I sometimes cause in our friendship. I think it's a fire and ice thing --- I get emotional too quickly and I don't understand why you're so cool about certain things. Thanks for being patient with me because I'm still a work in progress under God's hands. All my love to you and D, and your family! *smile*
- SL: It sometimes amazes me how our friendship has grown so much over the past year or so. Your gift of hospitality is tremendous and I just wanted you to know that I have enjoyed every meal that you've ever prepared for me at your place. I will miss the sessions of DVD watching at your place and our phone conversations that ran way past 5am, when you're in the US. Thank you for introducing me to fine food and fine restaurants. As well, for your insight into many of my problems. I haven't opened all of your gifts yet but one of them will definitely occupy pride of place on a wall in my new home. Thank you for spending time with me because I know that to you, time is very precious. All of my love to you and G.
And to all my friends, some words from Les Miserables:
At the shrine of friendship
Never say die
Let the wine of friendship
Never run dry
Here´s to you
And here´s to me
God bless you all, and I wish for all of you a year that is fruitful and fulfilling in the areas that are most important to you. *smile*
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