My deepest longing

I will run to you (Darlene Zschech)

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the earth
To the depths of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory may you draw all men
As Your love and grace demands

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes, I will run the race
Till I see Your face
Oh, let me live in the glory of Your grace


Every time my church's worship team plays this song during service, I will be fighting to hold back my tears. The words of the chorus get to me every time because they describe a very very deep longing of mine. I can't wait to see the face of God and be in His bosom, to be in a place where I truly belong and where I can say to myself: "I'm home at last."

I tell my friends and colleagues that sometimes I feel like an alien on this earth. There are so many things that I cannot comprehend and I feel a strong sense of detachment from the things of the world because I know in my heart that this world will not be my eternal home.

Once in a while in the past, I will pray to God and cry out to Him: "Lord, take me home, take me home." But I will repent and tell God: "Forgive me God for my selfish desire. I know that as long as I am on this earth, You can use me for Your purpose."

So now, I don't pray with my selfish desires in mind but I pray that God can use me for His purpose and that I will fulfil my calling. I am committed to running the race until the Lord calls me home. Amen.


I checked the lyrics of the song and there were references to some bible verses:


Matthew 10:27-30 (NKJV)

“Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.


Romans 8:28-30 (NKJV)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.



Proverbs 22:17-21 (NKJV)

17 Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise,
And apply your heart to my knowledge;
18 For it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you;
Let them all be fixed upon your lips,
19 So that your trust may be in the LORD;
I have instructed you today, even you.
20 Have I not written to you excellent things
Of counsels and knowledge,
21 That I may make you know the certainty of the words of truth,
That you may answer words of truth
To those who send to you?


Hebrews 12:1-3 (NKJV)

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.