Change is strange and disconcerting. It can make one extremely happy and excited but yet cause one to have fear, anxiety and worries. I recently went through a bout of drastic change in my life: it was extremely stressful for me but at the same time highly liberating.
I had been in my first job for the past 13 years, and my company and my bosses had treated me well. Recently, however, I had the nagging feeling that I was reaching a plateau in my work and that I wasn't as challenged in my job as I had been previously. I did a stock-take of my career. I asked myself whether I could see myself continuing to do the same kind of work, day in and day out, for the next 10 to 15 years. My heart's response was no, and my mind's response was no.
I prayed to God about it, and I asked God for an open door if He wanted me to move on to a different stage of my life journey.
God was faithful and He responded in such a speedy manner that I'm still reeling from the impact. About one to two months back, I was on the phone with a friend and we were discussing careers, God, and purpose in life. I told her about the kind of job that I would like to try next and she then told me about an opening in my current company, through a mutual friend. These two friends would prove integral in my moving on to a new path in my life, and I really thank God for them and their part in it.
Cutting to the chase, I went for my job interview. Following that, I sat for a written test and then I met my boss and two other colleagues at another session. I was offered a position, which I accepted. Before my first interview, I had prayed to God and told Him that if He felt that it was the right time for me to move on, I had faith that He would clear all obstacles in my path. I thank God, and give Him all the glory, the honour and the praise because He has my life in His hands and He's in total control.
That time was a terrible period for me because I couldn't confide in any of my colleagues, especially one whom I was very close to. At the same time, I was also going for interviews and turning up for work after that - this was extremely tiring for me.
Strangely enough, I didn't struggle with whether I should quit but rather with when I should tell my bosses and my close colleagues about my decision.
I dropped some broad hints but when I handed in my notice and the news got around, the reaction was one of shock because I had never given any indication that I was unhappy or that I would leave. Many had assumed that I was going to be there for the rest of my working life. After I handed in my letter, I was at work for only two weeks before I went over to my new company.
This was how fast God moved in response to my prayer.
The stress, however, led to me mixing up the bags of personal items that I took back from my old office (13 years' worth) and the bags of things I had bought during my trip to Washington D.C. Till now, I am still searching for some gifts that I had bought for my friends. I was also apprehensive about the fact that I was going into a new job that required me to not only edit but also write content and into a completely different industry. I had to pick up a lot of new things very fast. I prayed to God and asked Him to enable me to have a humble and teachable spirit so that I would be able to learn things faster in my new job. (My new colleagues have been wonderful, helping me along every day and telling me not to stress myself out.) One coping mechanism was that I wrote down everything that I needed to remember in my job. I told my new colleagues that I was a visual learner - I remembered things better if I wrote them down.
I also dropped off the face of the earth and was incommunicado. I didn't meet up with my friends, sms, e-mail or even blog. My consciousness also totally blocked off the fact that I had a church commitment which required me to turn up for sessions every Monday of the month apart from the first Monday. My supervisor called me up and sounded very exasperated because I had not even contacted her to explain to her what was going in my life and why I was missing all those sessions. I tried explaining to her but I couldn't really say why I totally forgot about those sessions; I also felt that I was quite irresponsible so I apologised.
Along with the stress, however, came tremendous relief that I had settled the move and now I was into a new phase of my life.
I have already been in my new job for about three weeks, and it has been immensely liberating. Previously, I was working every day from 4pm till about 1am, and I found myself struggling to juggle certain areas of my life - like having time for my family, my friends and also time for God. As well, I invariably had to work every Sunday because I needed Mondays off for that church commitment. Now I work from 9am to 6.30pm on weekdays, and my weekends are free. This means that I have now more time to meet up with friends over weekends and I get to have dinner with my parents on weekday nights. Previously, I would have been up till around 6am before I went to bed and this had a draining effect on me physically. Now, I sleep around 11pm and I get up by 7am before going to work, and I feel that my body has been the better for it. Previously, I could never ever meet up with my friends on weekday nights, especially on Friday nights, because of my working hours. Now, I can arrange for dinner appointments on any weekday night. Previously, I would do my quiet time and blog about it from 2am to 4am daily. Now, I do my reading (of the bible or a book) during lunch-time in an outdoor balcony in my office, with a cool drink in hand. I haven't had the time to blog yet except for today, but I expect that my blogging will again be a regular feature of my life once I'm more settled at my new workplace. My blogging is an extension of my quiet time because I blog about the verses I read and study during my quiet time.
I was also very excited by the challenges in my new job. One stops learning and one's creativity dies if one's mind is not constantly challenged or stretched. New experiences add new feelings, new sensations, new ideas, new passion and above all, new layers to one's life. As well, I was always very encouraging to people when they quit; I told them that it was good to get out of one's comfort zone. Well, I myself now have stepped out of the boat, and with God's grace, I have faith that I will walk on water.
My quality of life has improved by leaps and bounds since I started work in my new company. As a friend said: "You're finally getting your life back!" Yes, a big amen to that. I still owe my two key friends a big and well-deserved dinner treat.
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